• By Sam Parton
• In Blog
• Mar 13, 2014

Top 30 Funniest British Football Chants

British football fans get a bad reputation for being drunken, disorderly and pugnacious. Whilst this is certainly true, they are also undeniably quick-witted and nowhere is this more apparent than on stadium terraces around the UK. By comparison, on the continent football songs are almost always boring, unimaginative and are rarely any better than extensions of their team names - "Allez Les Bleus" is a good example.

Far from the case in Britain, particularly in the Premiership so whilst we're perhaps not always proud of the antics of football fans, we can certainly admire their funny football chants, Here is a list of some the best football songs available:

Funny English Football Chants

1) "His name is Rio and he watches from the stand"

West Ham fans in reference to Rio Ferdinand missing games due to drugs allegations and to the tune of Rio by Duran Duran

2) "Sunday, Monday, Habib Beye. Tuesday, Wednesday, Habib Beye. Thursday, Friday, Habib Beye. Saturday, Habib Beye, rockin' all week with you!"

Sung by fans Newcastle United fans at St James' Park to the tune of Happy Days

3) Fulham fans: When you're sat in row Z, and the ball hits your head, that's Zamora, that's Zamora Brighton fans: When the ball hits the goal, It's not Shearer or Cole, It's Zamora 

Fulham and Brigton fans have different ways of paying homage to their striker Bobby Zamora, sung to the tune of Dean Martin?s 'That?s Amore'.

4) We've got Di Canio, You've got our stereos

West Ham fans to Liverpool fans, beautifully simple

5) We love our, Itsy Bitsy, Teeny Weeny, Baldy-headed Warren Feeney

Northern Ireland fans to Warren Feeney to the tune of 'Yellow Polka Dot Bikini' by (Sir) Timmy Mallett

6) He's fast, he's red, he talks like Father Ted, Robbie Keane 

Liverpool chanting about Irish striker Robbie Keane.

7). Your teeth are offside, your teeth are offside, Luis Suarez, your teeth are offside

 Manchester United fans singing about Liverpool's Luis Suarez.

8). You should have stayed on the telly

 Newcastle United fans to Alan Shearer, when he led the team to relegation as manager.

9). Deep fry yer pizzas, we'e gonna deep fry yer pizzas

 Scotland witty fans to Italy supporters in a World Cup qualifier in 2007.

10). Chelsea, wherever you may be, keep your wife from John Terry

 Chelsea fans singing about John Terry after his affair with Wayne Bridge's ex-girlfriend, sung to the tune of Lord Of The Dance.

11) John Carew, Carew. He likes a lap-dance or two. He might even pay for you. John Carew, Carew

 Aston Villa fans singing about John Carew, to the tune of Doris Day's Que Sera Sera song.

12) Fat Eddie Murphy, you're just a fat Eddie Murphy 

Newcastle United fans used this heckle on then-Chelsea player Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink.

13) You only live round the corner 

Fulham to Manchester United supporters suggesting they all live in London...

14) Here's to you Asmit Begovic, City loves you more than you will know, woaaaahhhh. Here's to you Asmir Begovic, City loves you more than you will know, woaaaahhh.

 Stoke City fans to their goalkeeper, to the tune of Simon and Garfunkel's Mrs Robinson.

15) "Park park wherever you may be, you eat dogs in your country, it could be worse, you could be scouse, eating rats in your council house"

Man Utd fans chanting against Liverpool fans and also "He shoots, he scores, he'll eat your Labradors"

16) "There's only one Emile Heskey, one Emile Heskey. He used to be sh**e, but now he's all right, Walking in a Heskey wonderland" Birmingham City fans singing about Emile Heskey after his return to form.

17) "He's red, he's sound, he's banned from every ground, Carra's dad, Carra's dad." Sung by Liverpool fans about Jamie Carragher's father, who was arrested at a match for being drunk.

18) "Don't blame it on the Biscan, don't blame it on the Hamann, don't blame it on the Finnan, blame it on Traore. He just can't, he just can't, he just can't control his feet." Sung by Liverpool fans to the tune of 'Blame it on the Boogie' by Jackson 5 about Djimi Traore scoring an own goal.

19) "There's only one Carlton Palmer, and he smokes marijuana. He's six foot tall and his head's too small, Livin'in a Palmer wonderland!" Stockport County fans singing about their manager Carlton Palmer in 2002.

20). "It's just like watching The Bill!" Blackburn fans singing about the large amount of police at Ewood Park.

21). "You're shish, and you know you are!"

Sung by Chelsea fans at Stamford Bridge when their side played Galatasaray, a Turkish Club.

22). "Who let the frogs out, who who who who" Leicester City fans sung this to the tune of 'Who Let the Dogs Out' by the Baha Men when playing Arsenal who notoriously have many French players

23) Podolski to the left of me, Walcott to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle Giroud

Arsenal fans chanting about their team to the tune of the Stealers 'Stuck in the Middle With You'

24) He's bald, He's red, He sleeps in Fergies bed. Howard Webb, Howard Webb

Liverpool fans against Howard Webb and Alex Ferguson

25) The city's all yours, The City's all yours, While we're in Europe, The city's all yours

Birmingham fans mocking Aston Villa whilst they were in Europe

26) U-N-I-T-E-D That spells f*****g debt to me With a knick knack paddawack give a dog a bone Ocean Finance on the phone

Manchester City fans taunting Manchester United fans

27) “His name’s a department store / You know he’s gonna score”

Bury striker Lenny John Lewis was known as a super sub and scored crucial goals from the bench. The Shakers fans sung this to the Italian opera tune ‘La Donna e Mobile’:

28) Nemanja, whoooah, Nemanja, whoooah, he comes from Serbia, he'll f*****g murder ya.

 Man Utd fans about Nemanja Vidic

29) Stand up if you pay your tax.

 A chant aimed at Harry Redknapp by various football teams after he was investigated for tax fraud.

 

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